Sunday, December 14, 2008

October 24th – Clarksburg, WV
Clarksburg is our first show of the Fest Quest part of our tour. I have never spent more than a couple hours driving through West Virginia and after sitting around and playing a borderline shit show…I’m still not impressed. Cryptorchid Chipmunk also played, and I don’t really understand the whole costume thing. And I feel like I can safely say that and have that conversation after spending a month of my life on tour with the Emotron.

October 25th – Proctorville, OH / Portsmouth, OH
It just dawned on me today how Mose Giganticus and the Emotron really will tour anywhere. I did not even know that places like Proctorville and Portsmouth existed, and here we are playing rock music to handfuls of crowds. I think there is something to be said for that, but it is kind of weird playing in a band that plays more small town shows that in big cities. Its sort of like being on tour in Europe – if I want to see all the big city tourist shit, ill take a vacation to Cincinnati. Except with Europe it was picturesque countryside and not shitty Krogers and farmland.

October 26th – Blacksburg, VA
Tonight we played with The Bastards of Fate. I hated their name and a lot of their music but was really into the atmosphere they created. There was something very haunting about the singers voice and his stage presence, combined with a light he carried around. I think of all the bands I have seen on this tour, this was by far the most interesting one. I told Matt that watching them made me feel like what I feel it must have been like to be a part of the Salem Witch Trial. I can’t really put into words this band, so I suppose I should stop trying.

October 27th – Spartanburg, SC
For some reason I always forget that republicans exist outside of my aunt and uncle and maybe a cousin or two. I am not talking shit about republicans, but I think every person that I spend a lot of time with is very liberal, or if they aren’t we just don’t talk about political matters. Every night we spend lots of time with lots of prObama people. I feel like everyone in Spartanburg tonight was probably a republican, and I don’t think that is a bad thing. But it is really weird that you so rarely come in contact with a certain idea that it becomes foreign to you. A guy dancing in his underwear singing songs about Pearl Jam t-shirts doesn’t catch me off guard, but to meet someone that thinks John McCain is the answer to Americas problems takes me back.

October 28th – Charleston, SC
We played to no one. Almost literally. The bartender was there. The club owner was there. A couple of trivia goers would straggle in and out from the patio every once in a while, but, for the most part, we played to no one. While Kyle was playing, a drunk middle aged one tried to make fun of him for being bald. I filmed Matt squeeze Claxtons stomach to help him vomit.

These were the two highlights of my night.

October 29th – Jacksonville, FL
We ran very late today. So late that as soon as we showed up we had to load straight onto the state but I don’t really care. We played well, things are starting to click and I think we are really starting to shine as a tight band. Jacksonville is a very blah city and tonight I feel pretty blah. We are driving to Gainesville, we have no place to stay. Phillip didn’t seem into helping us out. I’ll be seeing lots of friends this weekend. Im real excited about that.

October 30th – Off day
The difference between a ‘Tron show and a Mose show can be determined by examining the personalities of Matt Mose and Kylemotron. Matt is very orderly and specific and detail oriented, where as Kyle is sporadic, unpredictable and slightly “out there.” Last night was a ‘Tron show and it was the embodiment of one. Also, we didn’t have a place to crash in Jacksonville, so we drove to Gainesville and slept in the bus in the Holiday Inn parking lot. I slept in “the cave,” which is the area of the loft that doesn’t have enough clearance to roll over without hitting your back. To leave in the morning, I had to suspend myself over Matt Mose, who was sleeping in the aisle on the floor, and monkey-bar myself out of the van. Fest.

October 31st – Gainesville, FL
Benard got into town around noon, for some reason. While walking down the road to the Fest registration, I saw Antillectual in their van with One Win Choice, and I didn’t know it at the time, but apparently Willem said “Look, theres Chad!” I spent just shy of 3 weeks with that guy and he still confuses me with Chad Muthard. If I didn’t have such an affinity for him and his band I would probably want to fight the Dutch bastard.

November 1st – Gainesville, FL
Played three sets today and could have done quite a few more. Benard was one of the better sets we have ever played as a band. Jena Berlin and Mose Giganticus were two of the most fun sets I have ever been a part of.

After the Emotron, Kyle chased, captured, hog-tied and kiss Nathan Streeper, meaning by the end of the day, 3/5 of the members of Die Benny have kissed the Emotron.

November 2nd – Gainesville, FL
Jon, Drelling, their two friends and myself all went out to the Warehouses because we heard the Lawrence Arms and Off With their Heads were playing out there. When we got there, we realized they were not, and it was nothing but a bunch of damn wiener bands and wiener kids. What I mean by “wieners” is this: on Friday night Paint it Black tried to play an outdoor show that ended in an inevitable trainwreck. A bunch of Police Officers on horses came to the gathering to break up the crowd, and a bunch of drunk idiot festers started chanting “Cops on Horses.” I remember feeling like it was nothing but a bunch of old dudes at that show, because I don’t think the younger festers really know, or give a shit, about Paint it Black and their contribution to the fest. Anyway, we were at the warehouse, and I should mention before anything that the average age was probably about 19 years old, but the kids start chanting “Cops on Horses.” Why? There were no cops. No horses. Just a bunch of wiener kids and wiener bands playing shitty wiener punk.

November 3rd – Orlando, FL
After the Fest we drove to Orlando to stay with Momma ‘Burg (Claxton’s mom). This started a spree of VIP treatment we would receive back to ATL. Which was nice, because at our Orlando show, some drunk dick poured beer all over us, effectively frying Matt’s keytar for the night, stopping our set after our third song. The best thing was that the kids answer for having all of our extremely nice gear covered in beer was that we should have bought shittier gear and continued to talk shit for us getting pissed at him. I wondered if the next day he woke up and realized what a dipshit he was being, but, as Matt pointed out, probably not. He probably woke up the next day and thought we were the ones being dicks. If that kid would have been at the Fest, he would have been one of the weiner kids chanting “cops on horses” at the warehouse two nights after Horse Cops broke up a show

November 4th – Sarasota, FL
John Skiffle is the first person I have encountered while being on tour in the states that treats bands they way Europeans do. Warm food and breakfast, and easily wins the award for most stoked dude of tour. The show tonight was probably one of the better shows of tour, top 5 for sure. Kids really got into Everlong tonight. Matt Mose said the tragic thing about me is that I am so young and only at the age of 23 have lost all interest in new music and the like. Again, I’m fine with the choices I’ve made.


November 5th – Drive Day.
We helped skiffle and Jen move a chicken coop. Skiffle and Jen’s dog is the best dog of tour. I feel like I spend a lot of time arguing or upset on my cellphone on this trip. We’re sitting at a reststop processing oil before we finish our drive to Tallahasee and I don’t have much to say about today.

November 6th – Off
Kylewilliam is an oil intern. I spent hours sitting in our bus texting while Matt taught Kylewilliam the ropes about collecting and processing vegetable oil. For some reason today I felt home sick. Not having any show and not having anything to reminded me of what it feels like to not be home and I suppose thats what made me briefly miss laying out my couch or playing in my bands. I miss my bands. I miss my dog. I miss my friends and my mom and my dad. I miss them, but not enough to come home and I think they understand that. I think its very obvious that this is the happiest I have ever been and it makes me so insanely happy that they have never tried to take this from me that it makes me miss them even more.

November 7th – Valdosta, GA
Shit Show (N).
1. A total mess, something unsalvageable, a total metaphorical trainwreck
2. When Matt Mose loses his voice on the first song of the set and the Emotron has to finish the vocals for our set.

November 8th – Atlanta, GA
Sometimes I feel like I get so stuck up my own ass that I ask too much of people. I tried to run tonight shows like a European show and got very frustrated when it didn’t operate as smooth as I had hoped. I don’t know if it is just because I am easy to take advantage of or if people really don’t give a shit.

November 9th –Off day in Atlanta
There is a girl that makes me really happy in Atlanta. I often worry that she deserves someone that isn’t going to leave all the time…sometimes I worry that she deserves better than me.

November 10th – Off day in Atlanta
I’m not sure if is sad or reassuring that sleeping in my bed isn’t that important to me. It’s comfortable but really sleeping in my own bed means nothing to me.

November 11th – Off day in Atlanta
At 3:30 in the afternoon I called Matt and he told me that IZ had died. At 8:30 our bus finally reached a Pep Boys. The tasks we accomplished in the hours between should not have taken 5 hours and AAA enjoys making difficult situations as difficult as possible.

November 12th – Broke Down Day
Matt woke up at nine and if he got the bus running early enough we would leave around noon for Hickory, NC. I woke up at 1:30, and even though we are still running on Matt Mose time, its pretty obvious that we aren’t going to make it to NC tonight. I hate off days, even when off days are at home. I left my house at 8:30pm and Matt still hadn’t returned from working on IZ and sadly IZ still wont run

November 13th – Johnson City, TN
I am not one to complain about anything, but I suppose that sentence isn’t true because what I am about to say can be construed as complaining, but… If you are going to tell a band to come back on a Thursday, and they re-route their tour and come through a town sort of out of the way, and especially a town that has never been very good to the bands, at least put a couple locals on the bill and try and promote it as hard as you can. I feel like this is me complaining about a show, which im not doing. Always mad stoked to have a show to play. Sometimes I just wish promoters would think.

At 1:10 I went to lunch with my parents at Teds not expecting to make it to Johnson City tonight. At 1:20 the waiter at Teds told me and my parents that they were out of veggie burgers and I said to just bring me a big plate of french fries. At 1:30 Matt Mose called me and told me that he had been kicked out of the Pep Boys parking lot and we are just going to have to tour in my van up to Philly. At 1:35 I got my plate of French Fries. I wasn’t expecting to be playing tonight, never the less to not be playing to no one.

November 14th – Greenville, NC
Greenville, NC scares me a little. This is my third time in this city this year and every time I feel a little uncomfortable. Kyle Knight says he would love to live in Greenville and that doesn’t surprise me at all. Every time I come here something slightly surreal happens…this time it was walking back from the Sheetz and heard someone other than the three other people on tour with me call my name. Kenny is playing bass for Club of Rome and at the end of the night had surprisingly kind things to say about Mose. I like Kenny.

November 15th – Charlottesville, VA
While at Sheetz Kyle witnessed a drug deal. I drove all the way form Greenville to Charlottesville, making only one stop to piss and to check the oil. Charlottesville is probably the cleanest city I have ever been to, so I got a real kick out of Kyle puking out the passenger side window of our van while I was looking for a parking spot.

And I wasn’t that surprised when there were no remnants of the puke to be found early the next morning.

November 16th – Philadelphia, PA
Back in Philly. I have spent more time in this city in the past three months than I have in my own hometown. We played our last show together in front of 10 people and I told Matt and Kyle how much I appreciate them taking me on tour. Leaving and going on tour is not a big deal to me anymore, there is very little preparation anymore for me to leave for a while. Going home has become my new going on tour…I never know what to expect when I get home

2 comments:

:: smo :: said...

i'm glad you recorded this. i don't know how many shenanigans you got roped into, but i think of you sort of as this constant/passive observer...though perhaps that's just part of playing guitar on this tour?

i like that you mentioned the cave. i tried sleeping up there when we were at the hotsprings in alaska. i was blocked in by evan, and i freaked out in the middle of the night. i manage to climb down and slink out around everyone. all i could do was make ramen with the percolator and read in a campsite laundromat for hours until everyone woke up.

Anonymous said...

Note: you and Jon Loudon left the warehouse Sunday night and then Antillectual played. So yeah, not all wiener bands! I will however beg to differ on some of the bands that played that night, but then again, we got there way after you too. I don't know where I'm doing with this.

The highlight of that night was definitely Matt Garfield texting me with the Alt Press review of the Mose set.